Living In "Wonderful"

It was brought to my attention several years ago that “wonderful” is what we are “supposed to be striving to achieve”. So “wonderful” is what I have been looking for. I didn’t realize that “wonderful” is what my life is. I have wonderful things in my life every day. It’s not perfect, but we aren’t striving for perfection.

My husband and I were sitting around drinking coffee the other night after the kids went to bed and we were talking about our lives and how far we have come and how much we have accomplished in our six and a half years together, and Chris turned to me and asked if I am happy. I told him that I am happy with where I am in my life. He thought for a minute and said that for him this is “wonderful”, and he doesn’t understand why I am still searching for it. I told him that I quit searching for “wonderful” a few months ago because I already have it.

A month after having my son.

I was VERY overweight during and after my pregnancies, and was miserably depressed. It put a strain on our marriage, made going to work every day a horror because all I had the energy to do was lay around the house all day and hide out, I wasn’t fully devoting myself to being the mom I want to be, and let’s just say that my life was not anywhere near where I thought it would be. I don’t know what it was, but something clicked back in January and I wanted to have the life I had envisioned for myself when I was younger. The first humongous step I took to achieve this was I went to a bariatric doctor and started a weight-loss program. The funny thing is that as the weight began to fall off I had more energy to keep up with my responsibilities at home with energy left over. My self-confidence began to grow, I was in a better mood, more pleasant to be around, and my husband began to become attracted to me again.

This is me now.

It has become almost an addiction to me to become more healthy and active in my life. Not so much that I go all organic and look down on others for going to McDonald’s, but just more conscious of what goes in my body so that I don’t end up overweight again. I want to get everything I can out of life and I can’t do that when it takes so much energy to get off the couch that I just stay there indefinitely. Now I have the energy to chase my kids around, go swimming for hours, and then load them up and go to the park for play date.

Never again will I be a bystander and watch my life pass me by; wishing for “wonderful”. I will be an active participant living in “wonderful”.