If I Could Be A Little More Like You...

     Sophie and I were talking after our company left last night and I asked her if she had fun. She said, “No.”  She told me she was angry, sad, and not happy. Then she crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. I prodded her to continue in explaining to me why she was upset and she started going on and on about how they were going to take all her stuff, then they were just bossing her around, and she finished by changing her story to “they wanted to take me away and put me in their car so you would save me in your car right there.” I was at a loss as to what to say. So I asked if she wanted me to do her makeup. It’s wonderful when kids are at the age that their imaginations run wild and when they tell their stories they say them with such conviction that you almost believe what they are saying. But when they finish their tale, you can easily divert them by saying “okay” and following it up with asking them if they want to do something else, and the big story that was so important to them a few moments before is completely forgotten. Aaaaahh… To be young again…
     I am going to try to be more like my children though. Not the whole redirection and extravagant stories part, but being able to let go of things easier; even if they do come up again at a later time. Sophie went from scowling with her arms folded across her chest to sporting an enormous smile and chomping at the bit to go inside and put on makeup. And come tomorrow she probably wouldn’t recall anything more than the fact that she had a good time. I think if I could be more like Sophie and not hold on to the negative in life so much, I might just be a smidge happier.

My Bebe Mama!

So I was giving the kids a bath today and saw what was probably one of the cutest things ever. The kids were playing in the water after I bathed them so I popped around the corner and folded a little laundry, and what do I hear from the bathroom? “Liam, come here and let me scrub your back. We need to get you all cleaned up.” When I peeked into the bathroom again, I heard “Now I need to scrub your belly.” And I saw Sophie using the wash cloth to scrub him clean like a mini-me! So adorable! All the way up until she dumped a bucket of water over his head to rinse him off (Dadda does that) which sent him sputtering and gasping out of the tub and into the hallway to find me.

This has been how Sophie is lately. She echos almost everything I do. Whether it is bathing them (which she not only does with her brother, but also with her babies), telling them to eat their food, stop touching stuff, stroking their hair when they are not feeling well or get a boo-boo, or singing lullabies and reading bedtime stories (which she does with her babies, and Liam sometimes does with his Sockies) Sophie copies all of it. I have been calling her my “Bebe Mama” for almost 2 years now because of it. Isn’t copying the “highest form of flattery”? If it is, or if it isn’t, I think it is the cutest thing in the world, and it puts a smile on my face to watch my three-year-old little girl trying to be like Mamma.

Living In "Wonderful"

It was brought to my attention several years ago that “wonderful” is what we are “supposed to be striving to achieve”. So “wonderful” is what I have been looking for. I didn’t realize that “wonderful” is what my life is. I have wonderful things in my life every day. It’s not perfect, but we aren’t striving for perfection.

My husband and I were sitting around drinking coffee the other night after the kids went to bed and we were talking about our lives and how far we have come and how much we have accomplished in our six and a half years together, and Chris turned to me and asked if I am happy. I told him that I am happy with where I am in my life. He thought for a minute and said that for him this is “wonderful”, and he doesn’t understand why I am still searching for it. I told him that I quit searching for “wonderful” a few months ago because I already have it.

A month after having my son.

I was VERY overweight during and after my pregnancies, and was miserably depressed. It put a strain on our marriage, made going to work every day a horror because all I had the energy to do was lay around the house all day and hide out, I wasn’t fully devoting myself to being the mom I want to be, and let’s just say that my life was not anywhere near where I thought it would be. I don’t know what it was, but something clicked back in January and I wanted to have the life I had envisioned for myself when I was younger. The first humongous step I took to achieve this was I went to a bariatric doctor and started a weight-loss program. The funny thing is that as the weight began to fall off I had more energy to keep up with my responsibilities at home with energy left over. My self-confidence began to grow, I was in a better mood, more pleasant to be around, and my husband began to become attracted to me again.

This is me now.

It has become almost an addiction to me to become more healthy and active in my life. Not so much that I go all organic and look down on others for going to McDonald’s, but just more conscious of what goes in my body so that I don’t end up overweight again. I want to get everything I can out of life and I can’t do that when it takes so much energy to get off the couch that I just stay there indefinitely. Now I have the energy to chase my kids around, go swimming for hours, and then load them up and go to the park for play date.

Never again will I be a bystander and watch my life pass me by; wishing for “wonderful”. I will be an active participant living in “wonderful”.

Just a Feeling

I am starting a new blog to remind myself that I am at the famed “wonderful” that so many people try their whole lives to achieve. I know it’s not perfect, but it is amazing and fun and full of love, and that, to me, is wonderful. At 25 I feel like I am there and this is where I want to remain for the rest of my life.